


Marry Me, Dean Winchester

by deanisbiandsoami



Series: Why? JUst why did I come up with this? [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean's kind of a ghost, Established Relationship, I AM A BAD BAD PERSON, M/M, OW, Partially retired Dean, Unbeta'd, oh fuck why do I come up with stuff like this!, ugh this hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 03:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1453648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanisbiandsoami/pseuds/deanisbiandsoami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's gonna do it. He's actually gonna do it. He's gonna drop down on one knee and ask Dean! Right after he's back from the vampire hunt with Sam.</p><p>But Dean doesn't come back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marry Me, Dean Winchester

Getting Dean out of the hunting life had been a long fight - several actually - and it never really worked. Cas always hated to see Dean leave but it had become less frequently. He only went on a hunt with Sam around three times a year. They'd come a long way.

Letting Dean go was hard. Cas knew deep inside that Dean was a damn good hunter - however his whole bloodline was destined to end with him and Sam as the perfect vessels. But then he'd burnt the script and out of its ashes came the most beautiful phoenix in form of a love story neither Dean nor Cas had expected. The fallen Angel and the righteous Man. Sounded like a fairy tale - and it bloody felt like one too - anyway, it wasn't even that Castiel was worried… it was just the quiet of their house, Dean's missing breathing and laughter or simply his heartbeat when Cas tried to sleep.

He wanted Dean to stop leaving him but he knew that Dean couldn't let go of the hunter life just yet. Maybe in a few years when Sam would settle down too and find a beautiful wife and they'd make barbeque…

Dean was currently somewhere in Pennsylvania eradicating a vamp nest and Castiel, again, couldn't sleep. He was thinking about what Sam had said when they left. Come on, Dean, it's getting gross now! You're like friggin newly weds! Castiel had just continued kissing Dean, not letting him leave just yet. Eventually, Dean had pulled away and said 'I gotta go before Sasquatch kills me… or pukes in my car. I love you.' Castiel had smiled and kissed him briefly 'I love you too'

Now those words weren't getting out of his head. Newly weds, newly weds, newly weds… it's like a loop. And he finds that he loves the sound of them. Also the sound of Dean as his fiancé. The word much more suiting for their love story than boyfriend. He loved the idea of Dean in a Tuxedo waiting for him. Dean vowing to always love him…

The next day Castiel drives into town and buys a ring. It's simple. A silver band without any stones but it's beautiful. He goes home and it's just impossible to sleep that night.

He gets a text from Dean saying:

Sammy and me found the hideout. We're gonna wipe it out so I'm gonna be home tomorrow.  
Warm the bed, my love.  
-Dean

Castiel smiles at the last sentence.

The next day he's waiting on the porch of their little house, leaning against the fence, hands only a bit sweaty as they clutch the little ring box, and he's waiting for the familiar rumbling engine of the Impala. 

He smiles like an idiot when he finally hears it. The Impala stops in front of their house and what then happens rips the floor away from under Cas's feet. Sam gets out of the driver's seat, eyes puffy and red, he looks at the house and at Cas and slumps even more. He slowly shakes his head and Castiel can see his tears from where he's standing. 

His smile fades and goes blank. Sam slowly comes up to him.

"I'm so goddamn sorry Cas. They just… they were more than we thought and…" Castiel doesn't listen to him. He stares, seeing nothing, his hand clutching the ring box, knuckles white. He doesn't say anything. He can't find words that make sense. Silence is the only thing keeping him from falling apart. He feels Sam's hand on his shoulder and that tips him over, his legs give in and he falls to his knees, torso slumping over his folded legs, his finger still clutching the ring box. Heart-wrenching scream spilling from his lips.

Sam takes a step back but then reaches out again as if he doesn't know if Castiel wants company right now.

Castiel kneels there for a long time the scream remains the only sound he makes, silent tears flooding over his cheeks. They, too, don't make any sense to him. They're wasted because he isn't there to dry them. They're wrong because Castiel should be shaken by sobs, but he isn't he's too weak, too lost to cry properly. He just wants to feel nothing, not this sinking black numbness of why am I even here when he's not? And not the horrible emptiness in his heart, he just wants to be consumed by the black hole that punched through his gut as Sam got out of the Impala alone.

He doesn't know if it's seconds, minutes or hours but Sam pulls him up and gently guides him to the couch, setting him down. Castiel opens his hands in his lap, his fingers stinging with the blood that's rushing through them too fast. Sam's eyes go wide, seeing the little box in Castiel's fingers.

"Oh god." He gasps. A tear falls onto the soft velvet. Making the dark purple look like black where it's wet. Cas lets out another scream, throwing the box against the wall and then sags against the cushions, all his energy lost in the scream.

 

Castiel spent the following months mostly in their bed, wearing Dean's t-shirts that lost his scent far too fast. 

He's just pulled a new one on. The old, grease stained Led Zeppelin shirt Dean always fixed the Impala in. Cas pulls the shirt over his nose, breathing in deeply.

"Cas." He hears and jumps, his heart almost stopping because the voice he hears is Dean's. He spins around, seeing his diseased lover standing at the door.

"Dean…" He gasps. "How are you-" His voice breaks, tears burning in his eyes.

"I don't know exactly… I believe that you are anchoring me here." He is the same. Exactly the same. He's his Dean. The same green eyes, the same soft short hair, the same muscles and the same voice. He sits down on the bed, looking at Cas. He's worried and maybe just a bit scared.

"I can't… I can't let you go, Dean." Cas says. "I can't loose you again." 

"You have to. I'm a ghost… you know what'll happen to me. You know I'm going to go crazy and I'm going to hurt people and-" Dean stops as he feels Cas's hand carefully against his. 

"Dean… I can't loose you again." He says. Dean moves to face him, hand softly cupping his face. 

"I know, my love." Dean says. Then his eyes travel over Cas's body, the old t-shirt and sweatpants - both Dean's.

"How are you?" Dean asks. Castiel leans into his hand.

"Not good… I miss you and I just want to curl up in bed and I want you to hold me… I want to hear your heartbeat, I want to feel your warmth. I want you to stop being dead and most of all I want to marry you." Cas says. "I- I bought a ring and I thought… that as soon as you got out of that car I'd drop down on one knee and then you'd stop going on hunts and we'd live here forever and start a family and I just miss you so much." Castiel started sobbing halfway through his speech and Dean pulled him into a hug. 

"I'm sorry." Dean says because it's the only thing coming to his mind. He can't say it's okay because he knows it isn't, he knows how it feels to loose someone so close to you, how it feels to loose the most important person in your life, and he also can't say 'I'm here' because he isn't and he shouldn't be.

"Can you… can you stay? At least for a bit?" Castiel asks, sounding so broken that Dean just can't say no.

 

The next day when Cas wakes up he looks into those beautiful green eyes and instead of the love and peace he used to feel when waking up to this sight he now feels a twinge of pain because it is most likely the last time he'll ever wake up to it.

"Morning." Dean says and Cas smiles. 

"HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST!" They hear from the door. Cas jumps again, scrambling to sit up.

"DEAN?!" Sam shouts. 

"Erm… hi, Sam…" Dean says looking at Sam in confusion. "Why are you in my never to be fiancé's bedroom?" He looks over at Cas. "By the way I would've said yes." 

"I just wanted to check on him… you know…" Sam stutters. Dean frowns in confusion.

"If I'm eating, drinking and haven't killed myself yet." Cas explains and Dean flinches. 

"And what on earth are you doing here?" Sam asks.

"I'm a ghost… Cas is keeping me here, I think… I can't remember telling my reaper to go screw himself…" 

"Cas, I hate to say it but-"

"Stop it, Sam." Cas snaps. "I appreciate your concern and how you've been looking after me for the last few months but I do not need you to tell me that I have to let him go, the love of my life, the only one that has ever known and accepted and loved all of my flaws and quirks and oddness. I do not need you to tell me what happens to souls that linger on earth I was a godforsaken angel of the lord dammit, I know a thing or two about souls." 

"Cas…" Dean soothed, putting a hand on his forearm. 

"I'm sorry." Cas says quickly, looking up at Sam.

"No, it's okay Cas… I understand." Sam assures. "Hell, I'd do everything for Dean to stay here… but it can't be and I'm not starting the soul-selling circle again. We've both had plenty of hell. But, Cas, you know heaven… you've been freaking raised there… give it to him." Cas looked up at Dean, tears filling his eyes.

"I love you so damn much." Cas says, framing Dean's face and pulling him into a kiss. Cas almost breaks down again when he opens his eyes and Dean's gone. A few moments later, Sam's arms are wrapped around him tightly.


End file.
